Looking around the room, I noted that for the most part, this was an older crowd. Gathered at the Robertson-Clark building in Dallkeith on October 26, we were here to say goodbye to the late Frances Fraser. This was one of those informal memorial gatherings, where, with no planned schedule, people from the floor would go to the front of the room to tell stories about the Frances they had come to know.

Before the tributes began, the pipes of the Quigley Highlanders Pipes and Drums filled the room. If you have experienced the sound of bagpipes played indoors, you will understand that knowing smiles were exchanged. The sound more than fills a room. A few people covered their ears. But in those moments where the pipes were silent and the drum rolled, the finality of a life lived resonated within me. Somehow, the Quigley Highlanders (of which Frances had been a member) had defined the feeling in the room.

As stories and memories were shared, the layers of a life were revealed. The former gym teacher. Her love for exercise. A badminton player. A local history enthusiast. A passion for the environment. A person who made things possible. A good listener. A person who loved animals. Someone who learned how to play the bagpipes in her senior years. Someone with a sense of humour. And sometimes, a few wisps of pink hair. There were funny anecdotes and poignant stories. Smiles alternated with pensive silences. It is like that when we remember people we have lost. There are so many layers to remembering.

The loss of this quietly-determined, yet gentle person was keenly felt Saturday afternoon. There was the thread of common sadness, but still: people smiled as they reminisced. At the centre of so many activities and interests, Frances Fraser’s life had rippled into many circles of people and most certainly, she had been a leader in her Dalkeith community. The Dalkeith Historical Society, the Robertson-Clark building (a former church taken over by the Dalkeith Historical Society), garden tours, Canada Day events, participation in local events, concerts, remembrance of world wars, a local cenotaph — the list of projects in which Frances was involved could go on and on.

I could not help but think about the many layers we all have. As I looked around the room, I remembered speaking with Frances from time to time about the layers inside that room. Once a general store, later a church– the fledgling Dalkeith Historical Society acquired the building and during the past years, has uncovered hidden layers–some beautiful– in that building. It is a work in progress.

We are each a work in progress. We spend our lifetimes trying to strip away the layers of things we don’t understand. And when it comes to our own layers, we look inside and try to get to the layers we like: our own wisdom, our untouchable integrity and our kindness. Some of us have many protective layers we can never peel off, fearful that harm may come our way.

From time to time, we encounter those whose layers have woven together to create personalities who are comfortable with themselves and interested in others, just because. Life looks so easy when we meet these easy-going people. They have nothing to prove and yet, so much to do. With apparent ease, they move through life, making friends, winning trust, and yes– sometimes making some waves that ripple widely until the waters are calm.

One of the speakers described Frances Fraser as “an amazing citizen.” Although Frances would never have described herself as such, in her own way, I would say she did amazing pretty well.

Let us gather inspiration where we may. Spend time with those who encourage us. Read the wise words of others. Believe that you can, even when there are some who say you can’t. Listen to bagpipes indoors. Add some colour to your life–and your hair. Smile more often. And see how life goes.

Photo: Frances Fraser is seen here in front of the Robertson-Clark building.
Photo provided courtesy of The Review